Saturday, April 09, 2005

So Much for Silence

For the time being, since I seem to have a whopping two subscribers, both of whom know my situation, I think I can discuss it fairly freely here.

Thanks to both of you for your insight and comments. If it were a question of sinfulness, yes, being made aware of it would be a very good thing, painful though it might be. What's more painful is the frustration, as one of you so accurately pinpointed, of having to apologize for an offense inadvertently given -- that's nothing, we all do that -- but not having it accepted, and also, the notion that the remarks I made were a deliberate attempt at character assassination. Once people put their own spin on your actions, nothing you say or do makes any difference; and as you both know, this is an important relationship in my life.

I'm glad, too, to have the input on silence not being a good thing, since the description of "bad" silence -- a prison -- is exactly what this is becoming: a place to be stuck in, where my letters are not answered and my phone calls not returned, and I just don't know where else to go from here.

The answer, I guess, is patience, the hope that over time, being distanced from me will get to be more of a disadvantage than an advantage. I do have one ace in the hole: my son's favorite recipes. (The way to a man's heart...) I used to share them, but have by no means given them all out, so when he gets sick of having the same five recipes over and over, maybe then I'll hear from his Significant Other. But at this point, as things stand, I don't see what else I can do for these people, and racking my brains for a solution is wearing, to say the least.

Thanks, ladies -- your input was a big help.


Philippa said...

You're quite welcome! And don't think there are only 2 readers! I am sure there are more, they just don't post a comment. You can track who reads your blog by putting a "meter" on it. I think is the site to go to to get one.

Catrin said...

I agree, we aren't the only two *reading* you, it just seems like that.

I keep toying with the idea of ending my blog as well, but as I am not doing much with it until Bright Week, I suppose I don't have to make my mind up yet...

You are indeed in a difficult postion, but please remember that you are not responisble for how other people *take* you. They are the ones who chose to go there, not you.

You are only responsible for what you do. I actually had someone tell me once that it wasn't any of *my* business what others thought of me, for that was *their* choice. That was a rather shocking idea to me... :)

This is complicated greatly by the relationships, and that makes life quite interesting, but hang in there and pray for them. They are young and may well still be in that *omnipotent* stage of youth when we think we know what everyone means :)