Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Somebody Pick Me Up Off the Floor

Feeling at loose ends today, and slightly masochistic, I guess, I got into my Xanga account and from there went over to Chris's ex-girlfriend's blog, just to see what was up with her. I'm still reeling.

Out of curiosity, I paged back through her blog, back two years ago, when they were together. And nearly all of it is gone.

All but one photo of him.
All the references to the week she spent with us.
All the references of the trip they took together into northern New Hampshire.
Nearly every reference to his first winter in PA -- she had a cute blog up about how much fun they'd had while shoveling out the driveway. Gone.
All the references to what it was like to have a railroader for a boyfriend -- she liked trains, too, and those were very cute. All gone.
The post she had written about her first Pascha as an Orthodox Christian, gone. (Interestingly, the post about her baptism is still up.)

He loved her so much. For their first (and last) Christmas together, he walked twelve miles to buy her a present -- he was a bus driver at the time, and had driven a charter to Atlantic City. Having several hours at his disposal, but no transportation other than his bus, he walked six miles to the nearest mall, and six miles back, to buy her a DVD she'd been wanting. No reference to that. No reference to their Christmas together at all.

I guess I'm having a hard time believing that someone who loved her so much that he left home for her, has ceased to exist in her mind. And why? Because once he moved closer to his railroad job, she felt "abandoned." He told us that that was why she dumped him -- she didn't feel as if she "mattered" in his life anymore, probably because he wasn't driving an hour and a half to her house every single evening.

I just can't conceive of such cold-bloodedness.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

When a relationship is over, it is over. It's not about "cold-bloodedness"; it's about moving on. In fact, she may have been too warm-blooded about it such that it grieved and pained her every time she thought of her old flame, and felt it best to erase the past.