Monday, August 14, 2006

Setback :-(

Well -- I survived, as most of you know by now. The surgery actually went very well (I'm told), and I came home last Monday, slept for half the week, and was all set to move on to recuperation.

Yeah, right.

On Friday, I went to my gynecologist's office to have the stitches taken out, something they used to do in the hospital back when I was having kids. And back then, the stitches were in for 8-9 days, and those puppies HELD. Not this time, they didn't. So now I'm walking around with a 5" slit in my gut, which needs to be dressed twice a day by Visiting Nurses (and our insurance will only pay for 25 visits).

To top it all off -- my doctor is on vacation. I really liked this doctor, and I can't get over the fact that she scheduled someone for major surgery the week before she went on vacation. And I can't get past wondering if she wasn't in such a big honking rush to get the stitches out so she could go on vacation -- and now I have to live with the consequences of her being in such a rush.

Honestly, if I had known? I don't know if I would have gone through with it, I just don't know. But what I do know is that my life is now what I swore it would never be: I have no life. It's taken up by medical procedures and consults and pills, 24/7. And this is what it will be, now that I've chosen this semi-"life" instead of letting nature take its course: As you age, you become more and more of an income for the Medical Establishment.

70 is a good age. 80 can be a good age. 90? I have people in my family in their 90s. 90 is not a good age. Nor do I want to do that to my kids ("When the heck is the old bat finally gonna give in?!"). No one in his 60s should have a living parent.

I can only hope now that God takes me before then. Now that I've chosen "life."


Mimi said...

Ok Baba Meg, that's a road you don't need to go down, you hear? God gave the doctors the ability to heal you so you can be a wonderful grandmother for decades more, you know?

Plus, who would say exactly what I was thinking 90% of the time if I didn't have you?

Hugs, and I'm sorry you had a setback. Prayers continue.

Meg said...

Let me put it to you this way: How would you feel if you realized you were spending more time at the doctors' offices than at church?!?!

Mimi said...

Oh sigh, dear Meg. I totally can hear that.

And, it isn't right. Hugs. And, you know, I'm combining my thoughts with the next post up, but I totally agree - it is a physical assault on your body. And, one thing I learned from a very minor ankle break a few years ago, was that your entire body is off whack when you have something that small go wrong. I can only imagine how it is when you have a surgery, poking, prodding, healing, set backs, and all of that stuff.

Hugs. Are we good?