Monday, December 03, 2007

Making Your Home a Haven

OK, I have to confess that I don't know how many of my readers this will actually apply to, but the idea, which I got from Emma's blog, seems to be to come up with one or more things you can do every day to make your home a haven for yourself and your family, then post about it on your blog. The woman who first came up with the idea (Crystal Paine) cleaned her front entryway, made herself a cup of tea, and spent time with her Bible. Me...


I made a nice beef stew for my husband.

Hey, it's been snowing all day, and he's been alternately digging out the driveway and tele-working. So I just tossed some beef, carrots, potatoes, and tomatoes in the crockpot and let 'er rip. I must admit that the smell is driving me crazy! But I will be content with my crab cakes and rice.

I also worked on my cross stitch, which was very soothing and meditative, and made up (I hope) for all the ranting and raving I did when dh informed me that his father wants to come back to living with us. NO. Plain and simple. I finally told dh, "It's him or me," knowing that dh would know I was at least half joking (and half not!!!). There is simply no way we could maneuver a 95-year-old man, with his fragile bones, down a flight of steps to get to and from his various doctors' appointments. To say nothing of the fact that he won't tell us if something is bothering him -- he won't tell the people at the nursing home, either, but they know what to look for, and we don't -- and oh, yeah, I can just see me maneuvering him into and out of the shower. He certainly can't do it on his own.

So maybe my chief contribution to Making My Home a Haven was putting my foot down about Dear Old Dad. ;-)


Mimi said...

It was a good decision, and the situation he is in now is the best for all of you.

And, a good soup on a cold day is perfect.

Anastasia Theodoridis said...

Dittowhat Mimi said.

My dad is in similar condition, and taking him to and from the bathroom and giving him there the same help you'd give a toddler just does not work.

And your father-in-law would not be safe having to negotiate those steps, especially in winter.

Takes courage to say no. Bravo!


Meg said...

Thank you both.

Interestingly, my priest said the same thing today, though he said that it was my weakness not to be up for dealing with Dear Old Dad. He's right; if I really loved the old geezer, I'd do whatever I needed to.

But Father also reminded me that if he hadn't known that his own mother's days were limited, and if they hadn't had all kinds of help coming into the house during her final illness, he would also have put her into a home.

We do what we can, but at least let's not kid ourselves that our love is adequate to what our loved ones really need.